I
have to start with thanking everyone for reading my last post. It was great to
know that my post hit a chord with so many.
Liana
asked me an interesting question – does my partner know she suffers from PMDD?
The
simple answer is yes, but I think she subconsciously would prefer to forget
that PMDD-driven events happen. One of my greatest struggles has been the lack
of empathy received during and after PMDD episodes – just part of the PMDD
zone, I guess.
How
black have I been?
I
wrote the following during one of our PMDD episodes:
Do
I care anymore?
I
don’t like being hurt, but it is also pointless being in a relationship where I
don’t get what I need. This can only lead to frustration. I am being made to
feel worthless every month. As I’ve been warned, that comes with a substantial
mental health cost. There is only so much you can put up with, and I think I am
there now.
So,
plan from here? I’m an exhausted man. I’ll just avoid her, and give myself
space to think about if I can handle things any more. There is no point trying
to directly reconcile, as she will just want to fight.
One
of the pieces of feedback I received from my prior post was asking what we had
done to try and treat the PMDD. I couldn’t fit everything into my prior post,
so I thought I’d cover it here.
My
partner has found it challenging to seek clinical help – to do so requires her
to speak to outsiders regarding the details of her moods etc., that she knows
are challenging (you are making me shove pills down my throat/they are making
me fat/you are making me tell strangers about how crazy I am).
I completely understand...and yet, I definitely end up with a sense of hopelessness - if she had diabetes, there would be no doubt she'd be accepting of medical help.
However, with my support and encouragement, we have certainly explored this space.
I completely understand...and yet, I definitely end up with a sense of hopelessness - if she had diabetes, there would be no doubt she'd be accepting of medical help.
However, with my support and encouragement, we have certainly explored this space.
We
first went down the SSRI route. I’ve no doubt this helped, but the side effects
became frustrating for both of us.
We sought specialist assistance
after that and some hormone type medications were prescribed, one of which was
Cyproterone, but it was really a disaster. We only lasted a couple of months –
the side effects were horrific. The most accurate description would be that she
was in the PMDD zone for two solid months. It is almost impossible to describe
how awful you end up feeling as a partner when she is constantly angry and you
can't do anything right. You end up suffering from sleep deprivation from
wondering just what has gone so horribly wrong in your relationship. What makes
it even worse is she has no ability to understand the impact her behavior is
having on you - there is absolutely no empathy.
I ended up as a burnt out mess.
Where
are we today? We are retrying vitamin type supplements, as well as making diet
changes. Caffeine seems to be a bit of a problem – one of the many tips we’ve
picked up from the Rushing Woman’s Syndrome eBook, which
describes the “biochemical and emotional effects of constantly being in a rush,
and the health consequences that urgency elicits.ˮ
So
things are quite calm at the moment – and my own blackness has gone. Until the
next time.
Posts
